28/12/16: Abandoned cucumber

Brook Farm Open Space, N20. Still wrapped and chilled.

28/12/16: Abandoned fish #2

North Finchley. A fish out of water.

28/12/16: Abandoned iPhone #2

Found this black iPhone in the road in Totteridge Lane, encased in a deep frost. Surprisingly, it still worked. I picked it up and cleaned it. There was 56% of the battery still showing, so I hoped the owner would call before it ran out. Sure enough, a couple of hours later the phone had a call from someone called "Fat Cheeks" (I think this was the owner's girlfriend). I answered and spoke to the phone owner, who appeared to be tracking the device through his Apple account. We arranged to meet by Totteridge & Whetstone tube station, where I handed it back. He seemed very grateful and said that if he had a present to give me he would have. We shook hands. I was pleased to have a happy ending to this story.

24/12/16: Abandoned "Bear's Time Travel Adventure" trading card

Boots and Waitrose car park, Whetstone. No idea what "Bear's Time Travel Adventure" is about.

23/12/16: Abandoned playing card #10: queen of clubs

Oakleigh Road North, N20. "But what does the Queen of clubs mean?" I hear you ask. According to the internet: "The Queen of Clubs is the card of high intuition, knowledge and mental balance. The Queen of Clubs represents the receptive principle of man's spiritual nature. They are not students in this life. They have close contact with higher forces of Intelligence; spirituality expressed in balance, wisdom and logic. They don't formulate judgments with emotions, but rather use their brain... People are often drawn to the Queen of Clubs for advice and assistance. There is a need to cultivate tolerance, and be more patient with those who are not as advanced and progressive. Queen Of Clubs can be impatient and might be tempted to rule through the weight of their crown than through their authority of wisdom and ability."

14/12/16: Abandoned playing cards #8 and #9: joker and ace of spades

Near Millwall Dock, E14. The joker has been a part of playing card sets since the 1860s. Tarot cards have included a jester/fool character since the 15th century, but apparently there is no connection.

Nearby was the ace of spades. According to the internet: "The Ace of Spades is the most spiritual card in the deck. It is the symbol of ancient mysteries and the card that represents transformation. Found in the Mercury/Neptune position of the Master Life Script, people with this card have the ability to reach spiritual truths more readily than perhaps any other card. Coupled with ancient wisdom is ambition and drive to achieve on a material level as well. Due to this merging of spiritual and mundane, being and doing, this card may experience a conflict between the two as they attempt to achieve balance in their life."

To others, "The Ace of Spades" is a memorable 1980 song by Motörhead.

12/12/16: Abandoned shoe #5

Marsh Wall, E14. Same day, another location. More fun footwear. The party season is truly upon us.

12/12/16: Abandoned shoe #4

Whetstone. This early morning shoe suggested someone had been enjoying a fun night out.

11/12/16: "Frozen" scarf

North Finchley. A pink scarf decorated with a character from Frozen – to stop you being frozen.

11/12/16: Abandoned "boot" key ring

Whetstone. A little brown boot on a key ring.

10/12/16: Abandoned creature #13

A gutter in Hendon, near the library. The poor little thing had only one eye. Other tragically abandoned creatures: HERE.

20/11/16: Abandoned video tapes

Boots and Waitrose car park, Whetstone. As with the examples HERE, these are more sadly unloved VHS tapes – a format no one will ever again desire.

16/11/16: Abandoned bear #4

ASDA, Isle of Dogs. This pink-footed chap was found very close to the little bear HERE. Why do so many bears head off to ASDA, only to get lost in the car park?

13/11/16: Abandoned spider (with pod)

This huge black spider (with red eyes) had escaped from his pod and was about to unleash a reign of terror on Whetstone.

11/11/16: Abandoned creature #12

Whetstone. This little blue monster is rather scary. One eye is larger than the other, and his mouth looks a bit angry. Are there any experts out there who can shed some light on what this is?

10/11/16: Abandoned Velma sticker

Stuck to the floor of the Waitrose in Whetstone. Velma Dinkley is a character from the Scooby-Doo cartoon. She often lost her glasses.

10/11/16: Abandoned playing card #7: "V" (Jack?) of hearts

Whetstone. Latest in a series. This looks like the Jack of Hearts, but it displays a "V" instead. Are there any experts out there who can shed some light on what this is?

07/11/16: Abandoned shoe #3

Whetstone. Just one.

06/11/16: Abandoned car

Brook Farm Open Space, N20. The first time I saw this car it looked "abandoned, but alright". A week later it looked like this – burned out completely. Even the tree above it had been torched.

01/11/16: Abandoned hair

Outside South Quay DLR station, E14. Disgusting, really.

01/11/16: Abandoned British Airways sticker

Stuck on the pavement in Whetstone. "Enjoy your flight!" says the sticker, which shows a girl enjoying the flight so much that she's sitting on top of the plane.

30/10/16: Abandoned boy

This little lad was left on top of a bin in North Finchley. Even worse, his arm had fallen off.

29/10/16: Abandoned shark

I think it's a shark, but it could be a whale. Underneath it says "China". Either way, he looked like he'd rather be in the ocean than in the Boots and Waitrose car park, Whetstone.

28/10/16: Abandoned Su Doku book

Just outside Totteridge & Whetstone tube station. The Times Difficult Su Doku Book 1. Subtitle: "200 dreadfully tricky Su Doku puzzles". Obviously too difficult to be worth keeping.

23/10/16: Abandoned playing card #6: nine of diamonds

Whetstone. What, I hear you ask, does the nine of diamonds mean? Let's ask "the internet":

"the Nine of Diamonds completes this cycle of its soul evolution through giving and releasing to others in this lifetime. Their life lesson is to trust in the universal flow, an expression of their Neptune/Saturn placement in the Master Spirit Script. When the abundance of the universe is doubted, the letting go of material things can be a challenge. Aligning with trust in a benign universe and willingly letting go for the benefit of others allows for more to flow into their life and thus is the higher expression of this card."

So there you have it.

13/10/16: Abandoned pig #2

Found in the road outside Totteridge & Whetstone tube station, this little piggy looked melancholy. Understandable, really.

07/10/16: Abandoned creature #11

ASDA, Isle of Dogs. This plucky youngster was abandoned in the fruit and veg section of ASDA on the Isle of Dogs. He could well be related to abandoned creature #3 or abandoned creature #4. If he's yours and you're missing him, please get in touch. One day all of these abandoned creatures should get together for a big party.

07/10/16: Abandoned bear #3

ASDA, Isle of Dogs. This poor little pink bear was abandoned on a grass verge leading into the car park. He was waving at me and caught my eye. I couldn't possibly leave him there, so I brought him home.

26/09/16: Abandoned playing card #5: five of hearts

Marsh Wall, E14. Latest in an ongoing series. According to internet wisdom: "The people born with this Card tend to seek, then change, then experiment, then scatter their forces to the wind. When their position in the charts brings obstacles and difficulties, they often blame it on their environment or associations, and they fondly imagine they can escape it all by moving on. Socially, the 5 of Heart are oh so vibrant, fun, and full of spit and vinegar! On the inside however, their quandaries tax their health and leave them gasping for air."

22/09/16: Abandoned union

Abandoned EU, abandoned hope, abandoned common sense. Stuck on the floor of Camden Town underground station was this relic from a more innocent era, when sane Londoners assumed that the British would never be as stupid as to vote out of the EU.

10/09/16: Abandoned dolly

Injecting a little bit of glamour into North Finchley was this reclining, pink-dressed beauty.

07/09/16: Abandoned bear #2

Totteridge. The latest cruelly abandoned bear (see HERE for other tragic specimens). This one needed fairly urgent attention.

01/09/16: Abandoned sausages

Millwall Dock, E14, just by the waterside. Mmmmm!

25/08/16: Abandoned soldiers

Still in Swanage. These two soldiers were at the edge of the beach. One was in better shape than the other...

24/08/16: Abandoned fake plastic tree

Swanage, Dorset. 'Fake Plastic Trees' is a song by Radiohead from their 1995 LP The Bends. As soon as I saw this, I was singing those sad lyrics to myself: "He used to do surgery / For girls in the eighties / But gravity always wins."

20/08/16: Abandoned toaster

East Barnet. Looked in fairly good condition.

15/07/16: Abandoned playing card #4: two of hearts

Spotted in a Whetstone driveway. Latest in a series. According to our old friend "the internet": "People born with the 2 of Heart as their birthday card believe that life is just not meant to be lived alone. Period. Yet, with all their analyzing and experimentations in love, they often end up losing sight of the very thing they need the most! 2 of Heart people have terrific work ethics and are very clever. The biggest problem is their constant fear of debt and financial burden; a fear for the most part, unfounded. This is one of the 'swing cards', changing places with the ever curious Ace of Club. Hence an inherent conflict between their compelling need for emotional security, and their ever challenging need to know!"

10/07/16: Abandoned playing card #3: five of clubs

Boots and Waitrose car park, Whetstone. This is the latest in a series. Internet nonsense states: "Learning through experience is an accurate description of the Five of Clubs, a gatherer of all life has to offer. Adventurous to the core, much is gained through discovery, exploring new places and researching new ideas. Restlessness is a common denominator of all Fives, but the Five of Clubs is perhaps the most restless of them all." Famous five-of-clubs people apparently include: Al Gore, Andre Agassi, Uma Thurman, Henry Kissinger, Monica Lewinsky, Eminem and Evel Knievel.

09/07/16: Abandoned cat #3

Woodside Grove, N12. Trying to stay positive, despite being run over. Other lost cats in the area can be found HERE.

07/07/16: Abandoned playing card #2: six of diamonds

Just off Marsh Wall, E14. According to the internet, "The Six of Diamonds person is a natural accountant of sorts. They are aware of how much they give compared to how much value they receive in exchange. Their mantra is “As you sow, so shall you reap!” The universe seems to hold them accountable with swift rebalancing of the scales when they are out of integrity and honor. They are just as swift to mete out justice if they feel they’ve been wronged."

06/07/16: Abandoned firearm #3

Millwall Dock, E14. More weapons HERE.

06/07/16: Abandoned melons

Millwall Dock, E14.

06/07/16: Abandoned creature #10

Millwall Dock, E14. Cat? Rabbit? Cat-rabbit? More creatures HERE.

28/06/16: Abandoned playing card: seven of spades

Thames Quay, E14. A single playing card seems enigmatic – portentous, even. I googled the seven of spades and learned that: "As one of the most spiritual cards in the deck, the Seven of Spades is here to learn faith and trust, particularly in the areas of their health and their work. Influenced by their Jupiter/Neptune position in the Master Spirit Script, they need to focus on higher values in order to receive the blessings available to them. Life’s reality does challenge their high ideals from time to time, thus the need for faith and trust."

28/06/16: Abandoned football

Totteridge. Last night England was defeated 2–1 by Iceland in Euro 2016, adding insult to Brexit injury. This morning I found this tiny football abandoned in the gutter. Co-incidence?

26/06/16: Abandoned cat #2

Totteridge. The second abandoned cat in just one week. This poor feline was crumpled by the roadside in the gutter after a brutal collision. Did the callous driver stop to call for help? Clearly not. But despite sustaining serious injuries, the little fellow seemed cheerful enough.

20/06/16: Abandoned cat

Totteridge. Hello Kitty? Goodbye Kitty, more like. This poor puss had been abandoned next to Dollis Brook. At least no one tried to drown her, like in the bad old days of unwanted cats.

17/06/16: Abandoned sandwich

Totteridge. You often see half-eaten sandwiches. It's rare to see one completely intact.

17/06/16: Abandoned Ryanair plane

South Quay Walk, E14. This has really put me off flying with Ryanair.